My Choices Affect My Story

Image copyrighted to Crystal S. Kauffman-Amon, 2018

Written by, Crystal S. Kauffman-Amon

Everything in your life comes down to the decisions that you have made so far, but your story may sound terrible due to terrible choices. My choices were not always bad, but when I made bad decisions it showed in every relationship I was in. Family and friends knew I was headed down a dark path of addiction, but I had my reasons for taking an extra pill or two due to the pain I was in. Soon, my series of bad choices engulfed my life, which led to the loss of every person that mattered to me in a period of a few years.  

Every Choice Matters

One night, I began wondering how I came to this point in my life, so I began hearing the word choices. As a survivor of cervical cancer with aggressive treatment, I began thinking about what my story will be when I die. Suddenly, I felt a fire in my heart that burned brighter than any addiction I have ever faced in my life. That moment,  I realized that every time I make a choice there is a consequence and I will face it alone. 

Growing With My Choices

Immediately, I absolutely began making changes, which I am proud of today as it has not been easy at all. However, I have learned to grow with each choice I make, whether it is a positive choice or a bad one. This way, I know what not to do again and who to stay away from for my own protection. I am no one special but I am a daughter, mom, sister, an aunt, and a friend who wants to leave a story that inspires people that know me.  

Creating a Inspirational Story

I couldn’t bear the thought that my legacy would be laced full of bad decisions. My story is definitely not written yet, but I am so thankful that I listened to that small voice that night and began changing my entire legacy. I didn’t get discouraged when nothing changed immediately, but I still chose to stick with my plan. This new way of life includes saving money every month, making amends, forgiveness, reaching goals, and praying as well as thinking before I make a choice. 

Never Give Up

To be honest, I still mess up and make dumb decisions, but I try to refocus immediately and keep my mind busy. However, I have to keep focused and not dwell on my mistakes, because I would make a stupid choice as I have in the past. Luckily, I went to a psychiatrist and I see a counselor now, which has taught me coping skills that have lowered my anxiety level. Unfortunately, I have lived with an addictive personality for almost my whole life, so I can say with confidence that your own story is not written yet either.

Copyright 2020